Isn’t it odious?

If I love you
I will give you the freedom to discover the world
Your compassion and kindness, I am beholden to
Outperform the Ogygia at nine in the afternoon

If I loved you
Oh the questions I do ask myself of intrepid failures
To prosper you in mirth that shines in golden tune
It was ever thus, I shoot for the moon

If I really love you
Why am I wondering
Of the best that I bring?
I think I still lack
Why am I gelt, uncouth, aback?
In the face of responsibilities
Why do I slack?
I sabotage myself if I desist
Of all the effort I made, still all feels amiss

If I really love you
So much I don’t qualify
Even by my own standards
To oneself, should vilify
Why I haven’t shown perfection?
Perfect is not enough
To whom did I give my 99% to

If it’s not for you?

How selfish am I?